The following lyric, unfortunately, was written too late to submit to the Vidalia onion jingle contest, which I just learned about after the fact. Nonetheless:
i'm broke and unemployed, i'm living on the street
i wear a trash bag for a jacket and newspapers on my feet
life is bitter
but those onions are sweet
i used to move among society's elite
i'd point my pinky when i'd drink and wear a napkin when I'd eat
till that fateful dinner party, when my personal chef
used some onions that were bitter and left me with bad breath
i was dumped by my fiancee, i was fired by my boss
the kitchen caught fire, the mansion burned down and they called it a total loss
but one lesson that i learned from all this misery and failure
i'll never touch another onion unless it's a vidalia
life is bitter
but those onions are sweet
i'm a denizen of shelters, a patron of soup kitchens
a careworn face in the regular crowd down at the rescue mission
there's only two conditions on the onions that I'll eat
they'd better be vidalias and they'd better taste sweet
i've been to pecos valley
traveled up to walla walla
i've picked 'em out on maui
but there's no onion like vidalia
life is bitter
but those onions are sweet
plant your roses and your tulips
rhododendrons and azaleas
nothin' smells as sweet to me
as a plate of sliced vidalias
life is bitterbut those onions are sweet