Rest in peace, Dad

I blogged the deaths of Clarence Gatemouth Brown, Vassar Clements, and my cat.

But this one's a little harder: my dad. Tough for me to get my head around it. I can tell you how those other deaths make me feel. When it comes to Dad, those feelings are a bit more mixed ... maybe even downright conflicted. It was a long decline and I'm glad he's finally out of pain. On the other hand, our relationship was strained and awkward, even though it had gone from adversarial to cordial. I did reach a point in my own mind where I forgave him of everything I'd held against him. But somehow I never got around to writing the card or making the phone call to tell him about it. I also deeply regret that I didn't take my son to Arizona to meet his grandpa until it was too late.

Here are the cold hard facts:

Stanley Deane Stillion, formerly of Flagstaff, died Tuesday, Aug. 30, 2005, in Phoenix. He was 70.

He was born March 7, 1935, in McPherson, Kan. to Paris Hugh and Margaret (Anderson) Stillion.

Mr. Stillion was a typographer and owned his own business. He served in the U.S. Marine Corps.

Mr. Stillion is survived by his wife, Emily Ellen Stillion; their children, Melinda Roell (Craig), Martin Stillion (Sarah), Michele Shepherd (Richard), Erin Stillion (Stella) and John Stillion; brothers and sisters Emily Anne Stillion, Stephen Stillion, Marshall Stillion and James Stillion; and seven grandchildren.

Commemoration services will be Saturday at 1 p.m. at First Church of The Nazarene in Prescott, with visitation one hour prior to the service. Military honors will be provided by the American Legion Post No. 6, Prescott.

The family suggests memorials be sent to: Prison Fellowship Ministry, P.O. Box 1550, Merrifield, Va., 22116-1550; or Nazarene Compassionate Ministries, 6401 The Paseo, Kansas City, MO 64131.

Arrangements are by Sunrise Funeral Home and Crematory in Prescott Valley.

Anyway, kids, parents can be difficult, but that's no reason to hold out on them. Although Dad and I parted on good terms, I never said some of the things I wanted to say or should have said. Maybe someone out there can learn from my mistake.